Two days, Mel... Two days to go, and I'm rid of these judgemental fucks for a week.
I've seriously seen two different worlds today. One was the first meeting of the school self esteem training I went to. I had forgotten all about it this morning, so I wake up at 8:00 AM and so does mom since she can go to work a bit later then usual. Me and my mom realize this was the first meeting of the training, so we both go 'oh fuck'. Luckily, mom has enough time to drive me there. So I wash up, slap on some eyeliner, yank the first tent-sized shirt out of my closet and in the process set my record time for getting ready.
My mom puts the Dukes of Hazzard to shame on the way to the training, seriously, that woman has epic skills behind a wheel! Anyhow, I got there 10 minutes early, and ended up being the first one there. One girl was a bit later and about two minutes after I came in, there's this second girl. We were the only three, but the two ladies organizing the training said the rest of the group is nearly all-female.
Anyhow, the two girls are complete opposites. I'll just call them Desiree and Essie for now. Desiree is this social butterfly who loves going out with her friends and wants to get in the hotel business... But she slams shut on exams. VERY understandable. Essie on the other hand is really shy and quiet, and said can't really guard her boundaries well. I kind of identify with them both, so I guess I'm the gray area... Just this time in a positive way. In this first meeting, we just got to know who the others were and we set our own group rules. I basically suggested two out of three, and mine were:
-Don't say anyone's problems are less then another's.
-Generally respect eachother: Let eachother finish, etc.
Oh boy, Melanie making the rules. To the bunkers!
Don't worry, I didn't drag that classroom into ruin yet. Anyhow, this group feels so comfortable. They won't judge, because they're all there for issues they're actually a bit embarrassed about. Just like I am. No bullcrap, we just do what we need to do, and joke around while doing it.
You can understand I actually didn't want to go back to those judgemental, holier-then-thou fucks in my own class. Don't get me wrong; there's still a little group of my classmates that's pretty cool, and I really hope they pass their exams with flying colours. But the rest can seriously go fuck themselves up the ass with a spiked stick. Somebody called one of my drawings in art class 'disgusting'. Exclude me, fine. Make me a social pariah, see if I care. My friends outside of my class will still accept me, so guess who's not eating lunch alone. But fucking hell, when I heard this motherfucker I was just looking around on whose sorry ass I needed to kick all the way to the hospital. He can be glad I didn't find him, because he must have a death wish if he insults my art in front of a group. It's my fucking future you just called disgusting. My dreams. My goddamn future career. Thanks to this idiot setting everyone up to think the same, I have to chuck away a perfectly good idea and come up with one just as epic, AND finish it in 2.5 hours. I'm not even talking I'm hoping he gets hit by a bus, I hope he gets hit by a truck at full speed.
I'm almost glad I'll be out of this hell on earth after this year. I won't miss you, you fucking hypocrites. And these guys seemed so reasonable the first half of the year...